Memories - Warm BodiesYouTube Crossover
by CaitPotate
Summary: R has his humanity back and he's ready to live his life with the girl of his dreams. But he is plagued by memories of his past. Memories from before.


**Warm Bodies Fanfiction – Preview**

I dangled my legs to and fro over the edge of the balcony and looked at the city sprawled in front of me. The morning sun was warm on my face, a sensation I was very fond of but still needed to get used to. My crisp, flannel shirt shifted slightly against my skin in the slight breeze and the gauze on my chest itched. With a deep, contented sigh I reached out and took Julie's hand, resting it on my thigh as we shared the beautiful sunrise while we waited.

"R?" She said, getting my attention.

"Yeah?"

"Do you remember your name yet?" She asked. My eyes flew to our linked hands and I shook my head briefly.

"Not really."

"Well, you know you could just give yourself one." Julie went on. I looked up and our eyes met. She had a small smile playing upon her lips and it made me smile myself. "Just pick one. Whatever you want." The corners of my mouth twitched in a little frown and thought about it for a few moments.

"I… I like R." I told her, making her smile grow into a grin.

"Really?" She asked and bit her bottom lip blithely, her cheeks turning rosy pink. I nodded, my eyes sparkling with love for the beautiful girl beside me. "You don't want to know what it was? You don't want your old life back?" She asked, looking me up and down somewhat nervously, as if she was afraid of what my answer might be.

"No," I shook my head and looked her dead in the eyes, a lopsided smile on my face. "I want this one." I declared, and her face lit up with joy. She pressed her lips together to contain her giant smile and rested her head on my shoulder. She squeezed my hand and I held it tighter in mine. Julie sighed happily and I looked down at her as well as I could from that angle.

"Just R, huh?"

"Just R." I said firmly. A gleeful little smile flickered across my face and I felt my heart flutter. Julie gazed at the scene ahead of us, and I followed her stare until my eyes settled on the great, concrete wall surrounding this portion of the city.

Finally we got what we were waiting for.

With a sound similar to fire crackers, explosions were set off all the way down the wall. Demolishing it in one fell swoop. It felt so liberating to be sitting on the edge of that balcony, watching the final remnants of my time as a corpse crumbling into the past. I was happier than I'd been in a very long time. Though there was one thing niggling at me in the back of my mind that I couldn't seem to shake.

You see, I wasn't being totally honest with Julie when I told her I couldn't remember my name or my past. We all remembered. I was no exception. I'd been remembering flashes ever since I'd felt my heart beat for the first time. I didn't tell Julie because I didn't want to worry her, and because I knew she'd insist on calling me by my old name. I wasn't lying when I said I didn't want my old life back. Why would I? From what I remembered it was full of pain and death and sadness towards the end. And what came before was nothing compared to what I had now. There's one memory that's been sticking in my mind more than the rest. It's not very exciting, or interesting… but it's stuck for some reason.

I was sitting at a desk in what I knew was my bedroom, staring at a flashing computer monitor. There was a microphone in front of me and my eyes flitted about the screen as I played a video game I couldn't quite seem to name. I wasn't playing alone. I was talking to other people and we were all playing together. There were six of us all up. All I really remember was that I was paying out one of my friends about his accent and we were all laughing and enjoying ourselves… Not a very significant memory… But it was a happy one.

It was silly, but I was a little upset with myself for not remembering my friends' names. Or my family's… I wasn't even entirely sure of how many siblings I'd had.

I shifted my weight to take some pressure off my deadening behind and Julie asked if I was okay. I told her I was just getting comfortable and she smiled at me, her eyes sparkling like diamonds, before resting her head on my shoulder once more to watch the teams of men and women cart away the rubble from the walls.

Another memory I had was of the apocalypse itself… I was with the guy I'd poked fun at – I seemed to be recalling a lot of memories with him – and we were running for our lives. Corpses were after us and we were both terrified. I remember thinking how ridiculous it was that the apocalypse had actually happened, and being angry at myself for not working on my cardio before everything went to shit. The two of us bolted into an alleyway to try and lose the corpses tailing us but realised far too late that it ended in a brick wall. Panicked and frantic I searched for a way to escape until my eyes settled on a fire escape above our heads. I got my companion's attention and pointed it out. He gave me a curt nod and readied his hands to boost me up. I tried to protest, to make him go first, but he wouldn't have it. He told me I was lighter than he was and it'd be easier to get me up first. Now I know he just wanted me to be safe. He boosted me up into the fire escape and I wiggled my way around to grab his hand and pull him up behind me. With a great leap he grabbed my hand and I heaved him upwards as quickly as I could, corpses rounding the corner and pouring into the alleyway towards us. Despite my effort the corpses reached him before he was safe. It felt like my arm was almost yanked from its socket as my friend was torn from my grasp and into the throng. His bloodcurdling screams ringing through the alleyway as he fell would haunt me for the rest of my newfound life. I looked on helplessly as he was brutally ripped apart by gnashing teeth and clawing fingers. I couldn't seem to move, I couldn't even look away. Only watch. Watch as one of the best friends I'd ever had was eaten in front of me… Eaten because I wasn't strong enough to save him. He depended on me, put his life in my hands, and I failed him in the worst possible way.

I hated myself for forgetting him. For being unable to recall his name even now. All I know is it started with an F… or maybe a P.

The worst part, the thing that would stick with me forever, echoing through my head like a curse, was his final scream. The single word he called out as rancid teeth bit into his throat. His final word.

Ryan.

My stomach dropped as I thought about that day. I'd give up every memory I had of my past if it meant I could forget that horrible scream. I took a deep, calming breath and closed my eyes for a few moments, trying to force my memories to the back of my mind once again. I slid an arm around Julie's waist in an attempt to banish the ghosts of my past with something real, and she looked up at me.

"Are you sure you're okay?" She asked. She was still smiling, but I could hear the concern in her voice. I shrugged and managed a small smile.

"Yeah… I'm good. If anything I, uh… I'm just a little hungry." I replied, hoping I seemed convincing. Julie nodded and swung her legs over the railing and back onto the balcony proper.

"Let's go eat then." She offered, holding out a hand for me to take. I swung my legs over and got up, taking her hand and following her inside. I paused just outside of the door, letting go of her hand and letting her walk ahead, and turned to take one last look at what was left of the wall, a sense of resolve suddenly washing over me. My name was Ryan.

Now it's R.

_**Author's Note**_

_There it is! My Warm Bodies/YouTube crossover fic! I really hope you guys liked it, and I'm inexpressibly sorry for the lack of updates lately. Like I said in my last fragment of thought, I'm not in the best place right now and I'm finding it hard to get motivated to keep going with my other stories. Especially when it comes to editing NSD. The more I think about it and the more edit/write, the more I think I'm slightly dyslexic. I'm always switching letters around without realising it and I often write totally different words to what I mean to, and when I'm reading something I often have to read words like had, but, by, and, if etc again because I'll mix them up with other words and it won't make any sense._

_But anyway that really isn't important. I'm working on editing NSD as best I can, as well as DWM. I hope I can pick myself up enough to get back in the zone soon, but until then I appreciate your patience guys 3 I love you. Byee._


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